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Positive affirmations have always helped me change my attitude, let go of beliefs that no longer serve me, and gently nudge me toward loving and accepting myself more often.

I say them during the day and before I go to sleep, write them on Post-it notes, and visualize myself already living their truth.

But there is one affirmation that I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with: I am enough.

Sometimes, when I’m pushing myself too hard or believing I need to be more, do more, achieve more, or fix more, I like to repeat these three simple words. They help me relax, remind me of my basic goodness, and they give me a little hug of self-love.

Sounds great, right? Not so fast. Almost immediately, my inner critic barges into the room.

Inner Critic: You’re enough? Really? Do you actually feel like you’re enough? And besides, what does that even mean? Don’t you want to grow and change and blossom and expand yourself? Wow. You’re becoming emotionally lazy.

And just like that, the debate begins.

Me: Some of what you’re saying is true. Not the emotionally lazy part, though. I think I’m trying to accept myself as I am—flaws, vulnerabilities, mistakes, failures, struggles, and all. What’s wrong with trying to love myself more than I usually do? What’s wrong with relaxing a little? What’s wrong with stopping the pressure to improve every minute of every day? “I am enough” helps me stop pushing the river.

Of course, my inner critic isn’t finished with me.

Inner Critic: Be honest. Are you ever going to feel like you’ve been enough as a person, wife, mother, friend, made your mark in the world enough, or loved enough? 

Me: Probably not. But I have to admit that sometimes it feels really good to stop striving, stop doing, fixing, or thinking, and simply sit in an easy chair of self-acceptance.

And so the conversation continues—and maybe that’s why I’ve struggled with this affirmation for such a long time. Part of me worries that I am enough could be misunderstood.

It can sound like: “Hey, I’m not changing for anybody. This is me. Take it or leave it. Why should I bother growing?”

It probably goes without stating it. This version doesn’t inspire me. I still want to learn, grow, and become more compassionate, conscious, loving, and more aware of how my actions affect others.

But here’s what I’ve come to understand: “I am enough” doesn’t have to mean that I’ve stopped growing. It simply means that my worth is not dependent on how much growing I have left to do. That’s a different thing.

Lately I’ve been creating what I call Shadow and Light Affirmations.

Instead of pretending that everything is wonderful, these affirmations acknowledge both realities: the struggle and the possibility. The shadow and the light.

For example:

Even though I still make mistakes, second-guess myself, and sometimes forget my own worth, I choose to remember that in this moment, I am enough.

Or:

Even though I still have a long way to go in learning self-love and self-acceptance, I honor how far I’ve come and trust that, today, I am enough.

These affirmations feel more honest to me. They don’t deny my vulnerabilities. They embrace them.

My inner critic is skilled at reminding me that I should exercise more, finish every project I’ve started, answer emails faster, and somehow become a more evolved human being by next Tuesday.

She’s exhausting. Do you have this struggle, too, dear reader?

And/but after all these years, I’ve noticed something. She doesn’t actually improve my life much. She shames me, and shame has never been my best teacher.

Yes, I can thank my inner judge and jury for her concern, but I just don’t have to hand her the entire spotlight and microphone.

I can be more mindfully gentle with myself, remember the context of my struggles, how hard I’ve worked on myself, and how far I’ve come.

When I stopped fighting with this affirmation, I began to see something I had missed.

“I am enough” is not the end of growth. It’s the foundation of growth.

Maybe we grow best when we don’t see ourselves as broken projects that need fixing, but instead acknowledge that we’re doing our best.

The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly because it hates being a caterpillar. It transforms because transformation is part of its nature.

Maybe our own growth works the same way.

We’re not projects that need repair. We’re living beings that are designed to unfold and blossom.

When I look back at my life, I don’t see someone who needed to become worthy. I see someone who needed to remember her worth. And still does. There’s a difference. One path is ignited by shame, and the other is ignited by self-love.

As I’ve been writing this article, I feel myself making peace with those three little words even more now.

Every chakra seems to be singing the same messages:

You are enough when you feel strong, and you are enough when you feel vulnerable.

You are enough when your heart is closed in self-protection, and you are enough when it is wide open to love.

You are enough when you forget your light, and you are enough when you remember that you are a creative, loving force in the world.

You are enough when you lose your way, and you are enough when you find your way back home to yourself.

Underneath all my growing, striving, stumbling, healing, learning, and changing, I’ve always been worthy of love. And so are you.

As a writer, composer, and singer, it isn’t surprising that these reflections eventually found their way into a song I call—I Am Enough. Near the ending, I sing:

My breath is all I am.

Love is all I am.

Peace is all I am.

This moment is all I am.

Now I can let my spirit fly.

Those words remind me that beneath all the self-improvement projects and becoming, there is something quieter.

There is this breath.

There is this new moment.

There is the goodness in being alive.

I am enough isn’t asking us to stop growing. It’s inviting us to stop measuring our worth.

The caterpillar is enough. The butterfly is enough. And every stage in between is enough, too.

~

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