“Whether it’s science or magic, if it’s of fun benefit, enjoy!” ~ ed

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“Only after I had familiarized myself with alchemy did I realize that the unconscious is a process, and that the psyche is transformed or developed by the relationship of the ego to the contents of the unconsciousness.” ~ Carl Jung

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The extremes of shadow and light consciousness are ping ponging on the daily, moment to moment basis of this intensely challenging time of existence, although it is also overwhelmingly full of the greatest potential for transformative change on both individual and collective levels.

Many sensitive and awakening souls are swimming (sometimes drowning) in the cosmic and collective soup and debris of the warring times of inner and outer strife.

Darkness of shadow looms and tantalizes us in its ensnaring comfort of the familiar pain, suffering, and known hardship of existence. Depression and apathy pervade, an increasing desire for some to check out of this reality, whether in patterns of numbing, disconnection, or more overt ways of ideation of desired exit point or acting upon all-consuming, intrusive thoughts. We sink many days into the unconscious, pain-body of generations before us, now our own body of haunted-house memories, still existing in survival and victimhood consciousness.

We wonder when we will feel alive again, our own soul vitality, our own passion and purpose of creation energy again. Manifestation seems amiss, a slowing down of the fire horse energy that was “supposed” to create sweeping change and growth of momentum forward. Some of us are utterly exhausted from living and existing in jobs, careers, and environments that take, take, take from us, and only give back a false sense of safety and stability perhaps in what is known and familiar, in survival struggle or fear of losing stable, financial ground. A purgatory. A liminal space between worlds. The upside down and veil of shadows afoot, a world similar to what we have lived in but one so very different, outdated, and dark, turned inside out and running amuck with shadows and monsters at each waking step. 

Internal systems of oppression and repression that have governed our own inner landscape now creating a layer of irritation and aggravation we can’t numb ourselves off anymore from feeling. The ways in which we have been “living” (i.e. surviving) really aren’t working anymore and haven’t been for some time. We feel hollowed out and numb most days. The old, survival energy, living in ways that perpetuate self-abandon and self-rejection losing their appeal day by day. The soul, still feeling squelched and stifled for its authentic voice and truth to live and express. And, yet, some souls are living in a whole other timeline, a higher, spiritual timeline where new earth energy is already here, and the awakening has already happened, more in alignment than ever before with love, truth, their own soul, and inner self. Wherever we may fall on the spectrum and continuum of soul existence, may we have ample grace and compassion for it all. And not make any part of it or ourselves wrong. 

Each day, we wake up (literally and metaphorically), we have the choice. Unconscious (made conscious) choice to align our energy and thoughts more with the truth of who we are, and less from the illusions of the false self dissolving and burning away. It is not easy and is the most challenging work we came here to do, to choose to align with the truth of our consciousness rather than the programming and trauma imprinting as truth of how broken we are. We can be so f*cking in it sometimes. Believing that we are trapped. Stuck. Confined to this way of living (or slowly dying). Many of us, internally growing in our irritation and fed-upness, demand and lament, “Enough! I will no longer compromise my body and energy’s health and vitality or peace of mind for a system and way of living that further castrates me from the intelligence of my own inner rhythms and body wisdom.” We are tired, so tired, of living in these caste-like, enslavement systems of work to survive. The fact that we have to pay to exist on a planet is beyond mad. We have to believe there is another reality that’s possible where our passions and gifts allow us to live in a way that fully supports us and harmonizes with our energy. We can only hope and pray that this new world is possible and we are the ones here to create it. 

So, we have had to dig as deep as coal mines for the diamond in the rough, deep into the crevasses of a mountain of our own inner strength, deep into the abyss of a cave of darkness, deep into the realms of psyche and self-oblivion, deep as a canyon goes into the weaving mind of thought running like rivers through us, deep into the ache and wound of everything we’ve been running from, deep into the soul of the diamond self that still is forging through it all, deep as deep goes. Diving deep for alchemical change amidst collective and systemic collapse takes a godd*amn warriorship of energy to boot. 

And Aries season was supposed to gift us with that warrior, blazing the path forward energy, but many wonder where it is, instead feeling the growing irritation and anger swelling within the Aries flame. Aries season has been fire and more fire. But many of us have burnt out, to a crisp, already waning with the energy dips of this new year. Too much yang, fire energy of doing, pushing, forcing, and over-masculinizing our own energy out of balance time and time again, always striving for more, more production, more output. But something within us is growing in louder rebellion that this excessive fire, yang energy was never going to sustain us or the future generations. Let alone nourish us. Or support our ability to create from the depths of true soul sustenance.

We have had a record number of planets in the sign of Aries, especially for the potent Aries new moon we had on April 17. With two Aries stelliums in the sky: Saturn, Neptune, the moon, the sun, Mars, Mercury, Eris, and Chiron were all in the cardinal fire sign of Aries. This new moon energy was activating our core wounds of self and identity. Ones we are oh-so-familiar with and tired of by now. The wounds of our self-worth and self-identity, the right to exist and take up space just as we are, the wounds of existing in a human body and the challenges of health and dis-ease that come with that at times. The stuck-in-the-mud energies of self-protection from facing the pain and wounding, where we keep circling back to the same core issues. Broken. Wrong. Flawed. This is what has built the foundation of faulty self. Not in truth, but trauma and wounding. And we believed this wounding was our identity. The wound of being here and existing at all. How painful, challenging, and brutal existence has been for many of us. 

Chiron energy is the Wounded Healer; though, we may never fully heal the wound of self, the inner shaman healer takes up its medicinal staff nonetheless to initiate its own self-healing journey, no matter the setbacks, obstacles, and winding path with no roadmap other than our own experience. Chiron is here for the soul and brings the medicine. The wound, being the medicine. By feeling, we alchemically bring about our own elixir of medicine we need to heal. Chiron has been a big player this month of April and will continue as it culminates its journey through the sign of Aries this next year. An integration and final healing period of themes around self-identity, victimhood consciousness, self-leadership, our bodies and physical health, our sense of self now and our self-confidence to self-initiate action.

Though challenging, this new moon energy was full of healing opportunities, asking us to tend to the victimhood stories within but to not stay stuck there. Have compassion for the self who feels trapped and destined to suffer and struggle. Self-leadership is the invitation back from victimhood. To lead ourselves out of the forest of our own loops of suffering, offer those parts of self our own hand, and let them know they aren’t alone and we hear them, we honor their pain, and there is also a more whole sense of self that can take the lead now. This new moon asked us, “How would our healed self move forward and create now?” Making a conjunction also to Eris (the feminine dwarf planet of disruption and discord), here to wake us up to our own suppressed inner, silenced truths. The feminine (within us all) is rising out of the shame closets of confinement so we can reclaim our fullness of power, not settling now for anything half-baked in performative, self-policing, and perfection-seeking measures.

This Aries and Chiron energy will remain with us into this next full moon, landing in the fiery, water sign of Scorpio, on May 1 at 1:23 p.m. EST and at 11 degrees of the fixed sign. With so many planetary bodies in the sign of Aries still, our previous but outdated sense of self-identity is up for review and being asked to undergo a deep purification and transformation process with this Scorpio energy. As different as they may appear on the surface, both Aries and Scorpio have a fiery element to them and share a common planetary ruler in Mars. Mars will still be in Aries, its home ruler, finding its strength and will again after so many weeks swimming in the cosmic soup of Pisces. Mars in Aries is the final dispositor of this full moon chart, in fact, meaning it will be the final boss energy, chief in command making the decisions energetically. This is a powerful and supportive placement to get us motivated to take transformative action in our lives. There could be a palpable sense of urgency and emotional triggers surfacing though here too. In excess, Aries can inflate into hyper-aggression, anger, volatility of warring like energy against self or other. Egos can flare here too. So we must temper the flames accordingly. But use the fire to fuel us in the direction of our desires.

Scorpio is co-ruled by Pluto (as well as Mars), making it a more dual, complex, and intricate sign. Pluto brings the soul and the power, as well as the inner fears held within the unconscious of the psyche. The unconscious is the doorway to the soul’s withheld truths. As writer and mythologist Joseph Campbell says so eloquently, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” So, we must bravely dive into the unknown and take the hero’s journey and quest to excavate the treasures held within the unconscious. And this is exactly what Scorpio does. Scorpio has no fear about diving deep into the shadow of the unconscious material. Scorpio energy will never settle for surface-layer anything. Scorpio energy rules and governs many organs of the body, the final depositors of energy, transforming energy, and matter into another form entirely. This includes the reproductive and sexual organs and organs of elimination, including the colon and urinary systems. 

Scorpio energy connects us to the internal alchemical processes held within the fabric of the soma (the body). We give life through reproduction and creation and so do we release what’s “dead” and no longer needed to sustain life in the elimination system. What an incredible intelligence that exists inherently within us! The wisdom to know when to create and when to let go. And yet, with so many fertility and reproductive challenges for men and women alike and colon and elimination issues growing rampant, we wonder what has severed us off from this innate intelligence. What has accumulated as density and dis-eased matter instead of life-giving and life-trusting energy within us? The body is so wise, though, and it remembers what we don’t see or know, holding this unconscious matter until we are ready and willing to look at it and feel the buried emotional pain. And a hero’s journey it is to take into the unconscious energies held within the body and somatic experience. 

We have earthly support for this full moon, with the sun in Taurus, Scorpio’s counterpart. The sun moved into Taurus on April 19. Mercury will join the sun in Taurus a day after this full moon for more grounded, steady thinking. Taurus energy calls us back into the body and embodiment experience. Inviting us back home into the body by connecting us to the sensory experiences of taste, touch, smell, and sight. The grounding energy we have been needing with so much swirling in the cosmos. Especially with Uranus moving through the anaretic (or final degrees) of Taurus before it finally moves into Gemini on April 25. This final phase of Uranus in Taurus was bringing the amplification energy on our felt sense of safety, security, resources, financial fears, and the shake-ups we’ve been undergoing these last many years around such themes to break us free from outsourcing our sense of safety and security to things predisposed to change and fluctuate. Uranus is loud and disruptive and yet Taurus is quiet energy, more stubborn and fixed in keeping things the same and status quo, even if in stagnation of energy. Uranus, now in Gemini for the next seven years, is here to revolutionize our minds and thought processes, shift our perspectives, expand our minds to generate new and fresh ideas, and can also elicit information and nervous system overload and overwhelm at times. The energy will be buzzing in the mind and nervous system here at times. Gemini energy is all about our choices, revealing the infinite number of choices we have in any given moment, which can lend itself to more freedom in the mind but also to overwhelm, overthinking, and analysis paralysis.

So, perhaps we can anchor more deeply into the Taurus energy as Uranus begins its long hero’s journey into the mind matrix. Taurus energy connects us to our resources and our finances, how deeply resourced and supported we feel (or don’t feel) on a foundational level. Where we might be holding on too tightly out of fear or relating to money and finances in a fearful, controlling manner. The sun in Taurus is a slowing down of the energy. A time to reconnect to the sensory pleasures and nourishment of life, taking care of these bodies and our physical environments. Taurus energy reminds us to be present to life and to our bodies, to tend to them with great care and devotion, no matter how pervasive our disconnect or programmed disdain has grown for whatever perceived flaw we believe them to have. Can we allow ourselves to receive more sweetness in our lives? Can we be sweeter to ourselves undergoing so much change, challenge, and discomfort? Let it be sweet like honey enveloping our bodies, soothing us in comfort and nurturing energy, amidst times of emotional challenge or dysregulation. Taurus energy reminds us to ground our energy into our bodies and to connect more deeply with nature and the earth as a tool of resource to support us in this embodiment journey. It reminds us to connect with the elements to remember our inherent connection to nature: the air, the water, the dirt, the wind caressing our cheek, rain splashing on our face, a sweet smell of a budding flower in spring.

The Scorpio and Taurus axis is one of emotional depth and intensity, as well as deep connection to the physical realms. This axis poses the inquiry: How do we feel secure and stable amidst the deep, alchemical transformations? This full moon in Scorpio is an invitation to welcome a deep emotional ending to something that has been psychically and energetically weighing heavy in our bodies and physical vessels.

Scorpio energy connects us more deeply with our inner emotional waters, which at times can feel intense, but also to our inner psychic awareness, our intuition, and our ability to trust what we feel. Scorpio unearths deep held emotional truths through the process of emotional alchemy and the inner (and often times uncomfortable) transformational process where old parts of self need to die so a truer, more authentic self can be reborn. The shadow of Scorpio reveals where control and fear mechanisms are still governing us in how we relate to ourselves or to life. And these patterns usually come from a deep held space of trauma and pain.

Scorpio energy can hold secrets even if just withholding truth from our own selves. Any control issues and tendencies will be amplified and illuminated here. This full moon demands honesty, to look our fears in the face or come to terms with what is already dead and past its expiration. Scorpio wants the honest-to-God truth. No matter how disruptive it is to our lives. Scorpio energy connects us to our sexual, creative channel. The channel of God. The right we have as divine creators to embody our creation energy. The raw energy of life. If it’s been clouded in shame or suppression, this full moon asks us to unveil those cloaks now and come back into reunion and communion with the most vital and powerful aspect of self. We came here to create new worlds, so we must be in a sacred, responsible relationship with our sexual and creative energy to birth the new. Scorpio also connects us more deeply to our power and where we have feared being more fully in our power center and truth. 

This full moon is chock-full of this Plutonic energy too. Energy of the soul, of alchemy, death/rebirth, change, transformation, power reclamation, and fear facing. The moon and sun will be making a square to Pluto in Aquarius, forming a powerful T square, amplifying the growth edges we are all feeling, whether to stay uncomfortable in the familiar suffering or bravely choose discomfort in the unknown changes we know we need to make. Pluto brings to light our emotionally-held fears of change, even if we know on a deep soul level it’s a necessary process to transform our inner and outer experiences of life. Pluto doesn’t play and fights for the freedom of the soul. There can be emotional intensity here as we bring the unconsciousness to light through our ever-expanding, awakening consciousness. Where we are refusing to change and evolve will be more intensely felt in the coming days with this full moon energy. How do we face our fears of the unknown head-on while gently holding our own hand and the hands of our inner, fear-ridden parts seeking safety in the known? How do we feel an inner sense of safety growing as we shed our old skins like a snake and step into a new, more authentic form of self? 

Making a yod (finger of God) aspect with the moon, Saturn and Venus, there is a felt emotional pressure here that feels uncomfortable (but transformative) and a bit unclear as to what the assignment is. Emotional truths will be surfacing so we can make the needed adjustments in our lives and realign with our intuitive knowing. This full moon will be full of supportive energies, though, to make the changes, to emotionally alchemize the pain held within. With Mercury conjunct to Chiron, our minds may be overly focused on our wounding story, perhaps now on a mental, repetitive loop, but we are also able to address the narrative around our particular flavor of wounding, with ample opportunity to rewrite the story of our wounds from a more empowering, healed lens.

Trine to the north node still in Pisces, and sextile to the south node in Virgo, we are moving ever closer to our highest outcome of spiritual growth and soul path, releasing the need to control and hyper-fixate on perfecting ourselves or criticizing ourselves unnecessarily in the process. The moon will be trine to Jupiter still in Cancer, dosing us with emotional comfort and safety to expand and grow in the ways we know we must now. The home within the true self is the one we carry with us through the big and small changes and self-evolutions. Saturn and Neptune will also be trine to Pluto, dosing us with spiritual and structural support for the changes we are making and undergoing. 

Pluto stations retrograde on May 6 until October 15. Pluto going retrograde just a few days after this full moon (in its shadow for the full moon) will amplify these Pluto energies already impacting us. Themes around power, our hidden fears, our relationship to our power, where we need to undergo a death/rebirth process are highlighted but in an internal magnification way these next few months. An internal excavation into our unconscious mind. Shadow work is key here. Being that Pluto is in Aquarius now too, themes around our place and sense of belonging to the collective soul awakening will be highlighted. 

This Scorpio full moon can reveal to us where our boundaries need to be clearer and more honed. Where we are bleeding our energetic boundaries and merging with others’ energy, taking on what was never ours to process in the first place. Where co-dependency and addictions are still governing us and where we need to call back our sense of agency, sovereignty, and power. The waters of this full moon could be intense and coming in waves, so we must hold steady or keep learning how to surf the energetic waves. Let this full moon remind you that there is a whole new life and beginning awaiting the moment we stop appeasing our hidden fears and shadows. Let this full moon remind you how innately and divinely powerful you are. How on point your intuition is if you were to just listen within first instead of outsourcing your power. Let this full moon bathe you in alchemical magic of potent healing and transformation. You are the alchemist. Alchemy is you. And the unconscious is the doorway to that alchemical process. Let this full moon reconnect you back to the magic and mystery you are, ever unfolding.

Allow this full moon to bathe you in permission to change. Permission to become the you you came here to be. Truth. In. Raw. Form. Pure. Power. Steeping. In. Magic. Beauty. And Mystery. You. Are. The. Sacred. Vessel. For. Creation. Energy. Remember. The. Inner. Magician. And. Mystique. Of. Existence. You. Are. The. Soul. Intelligence. Within. You. Ready. To. Birth. Yourself. Anew. Let. Death. Be. The. Doorway. To. A. Whole. New. World. You. The. Creator. Of. Life. Fully. In. Your. Power. Now. Aho. Amen. And so it is.

Check out Anna’s podcast on the Scorpio full moon on Spotify or Apple.

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