Attending retreats used to be my way of investing in my mental and emotional health.

Regular attendance deepened my spiritual practice and lowered my stress levels significantly.

Festivals also played a big role in my growth and opened portals within me that had been dormant. There were many experiences that forced me to stand face-to-face with my emotions and release them.

I healed multiple times. I shed personal layers more times than I care to remember. However, there was always something that would put my healing to the test.

Although I had experienced what felt like true healing, I don’t remember bringing it home—not even once.

When my one-month meditation retreat in India ended, I felt free of negative energy and ready to face life’s emotional challenges calmly and mindfully.

My assumption was incorrect…

When my ex-boyfriend called me right after I switched on my cellphone, all the positivity and so-called healing I had been feeling vanished into thin air.

That reality check hit hard: Was my retreat genuine? Yes. Was my healing genuine? No.

It has taken me almost a decade to realize that most of us misunderstand the word “healing.” We associate it with temporary experiences but end up becoming our own worst enemy when we are triggered.

I’m not in any way dismissing the authenticity of retreats, ceremonies, or festivals. I still take part in them, but they no longer define my spiritual progress. What defines my healing is not what you think.

What genuinely maps my current growth is my reaction right now. The areas in my life that require attention tell me where I stand in my healing journey. My relationships, my triggers, and all my wounds invite me to look deeper and check my unprocessed emotions.

The smell of incense may bring us temporary relief, but it won’t show us where we still need to heal. The only thing that can tell us more about our healing is the way we move through the traumas, losses, and triggers.

Regardless of how many retreats we may attend, we can’t heal deep emotional pain if we are still stuck in the same old reactive patterns. If we are still victims of our own triggers, our healing may not be genuine.

Real healing happens now and every day. It happens when you are triggered at work or in your relationship. It happens when you are stuck in traffic or in an elevator. It happens when you lose everything, including your own self.

Real healing doesn’t happen when things are calm. It happens when life brings you down and tests your patience. It happens when you are hurt and disappointed and just want to sleep it off. It happens when you don’t want it to happen.

Real healing happens when things are hard and you are upset and hopeless. It happens when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and can’t believe there’s a way out.

Real healing is in your words, actions, behaviors, and awareness level. It’s right here, and only you can access it.

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