The past is such a weird thing.

Although it no longer exists, its power is undeniable.

It sneaks up on us when we least expect it and exerts unexpected mental pressure that can bring us to our knees.

We all let go of the past to some extent. We move on; we live; we learn. However, there are times when the present goes silent and the past gets louder and louder.

Old wounds reopen and memories of what was take over our being. In those moments, we reluctantly surrender. We give in to the temptation of the past because, well, revisiting it is tempting.

Our minds now have a new challenging task, and we love it. Like a maze, we enter the complexity of the past and rethink the details. It’s a chaotic experience with many twists and turns.

We look for a way out, but we’re stuck in this mental maze that has no clear finish. And, maybe, we don’t want to find our way out. Even if the past hurts, it’s slightly delightful to again taste the flavor of what could have been.

We enjoy revisiting what was so familiar and comforting. Even if it doesn’t exist anymore, it still offers a sense of escape. Slowly but surely, we miss out on what’s right in front of us just so we can reminisce about the good old days.

And so, we dive deep into our losses and misfortunes, fully knowing that they have shaped us and our present moment. We know we can’t bring back what’s already gone, but somehow we keep trying to mentally relive it.

Then we wonder why the past is so alluring. Regardless of how pleasant our reality is, when the past makes an appearance, we succumb to it. How can we avoid that bittersweet transition? How can we stop oscillating between what was and what is?

The answer is simple and it starts here and now. To get over the past, we need to accept that there are no more answers there. Rethinking what could have been only disrupts our current reality. No matter what type of loss we have endured, it’s futile to keep looking for the why.

Our focus must primarily be on the how. How can I make the most of this present moment right now? How can I accept the way things are now without having to travel back in time?

That conscious acceptance of what happened can dramatically change the course of our lives. Because as long as we are tempted to revive the past, it usually means that we haven’t come to terms yet with the outcome.

Subconsciously, we might still be trying to find an answer, a grain of hope, or a new lead that could get us closure. However, if we are at peace with the outcome, we can move on and comprehend that wishful thoughts don’t change the uncontrollable; they only drain and agitate us.

True acceptance only comes when we are ready to fully indulge in the here and now. When the past shows up, we can still welcome it, without surrendering to its powers. We can still say thank you, without trying to change it.

So, take a deep breath. Look around you. Observe where you are now and embrace the opportunities that are right in front of you. With gratitude and an open heart, we can stop the what-ifs and release ourselves from the emotional pain that the past triggers.

The now is all you have. Make the best of it.

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