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I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember.

I’ve taken pride in this trait and believed that it may be the secret to being successful.

However, not long ago, I realized that my tendency to perfect everything in my life was doing more harm than good.

Do I work hard? Yes. Am I miserable? You bet.

From the outside, I look fine, but internally I suffer from burnout, frustration, and shame.

I’m constantly scared of messing up and not meeting my goals. Whether I’m doing something small like cooking or big, like working on an important project, the fear of failure haunts me. So, I keep setting high standards for myself, which causes unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Plus, my relationships often take a hit due to my constant need for validation. If you think that I trust myself just because I like to perfect everything, you’re wrong.

The truth is I don’t. I’m a perfectionist because, sadly, my self-worth is tied to my “achievements.” I obsess over errors because making them can negatively impact my mental health for weeks.

The relentless pursuit of being perfect is tiring.

Folks, I’m exhausted.

Always wanting to say and do the right thing is taking a toll on me.

Therefore, I’ve decided to stop.

The other day, right after saying the “wrong” thing, I had an epiphany. When I started judging and criticizing myself, I felt something was wrong. I was, in fact, chasing the wrong thing.

I’ve been chasing perfection for a long time, when what I should be chasing instead is growth. The way I judge myself when I don’t meet my goals has never been helpful. And I’m not growing; I’m only causing myself and the ones around me frustration.

When we chase growth, we automatically stop seeking perfection.

Believe it or not, when I cultivate a growth mindset, I stop caring about how I want things to be done. Instead, I focus on what my imperfections can teach me. All of a sudden, my flaws become opportunities instead of hindrances.

All we have to do is practice awareness whenever we mess up. We can admit that we have actually messed up. We see our flaws as they are without bashing ourselves. If someone else is involved, we can take ownership of our actions and make amends when and where needed.

The point is to take action—to move past the moment when we become trapped in unhelpful thoughts. To step away when we feel that perfection is giving us a sense of safety. That’s how and when we grow: when we focus on progression. We are a work in progress—not a finished piece of art. Slowly but surely, we stop measuring our personal worth by our achievements.

I can see clearly now the damage that perfectionism causes.

I’m committed to growing, so I consciously choose to take it easy on myself and uncover the root cause of my behavior.

I don’t want perfect anymore.

What I really want is being okay with flaws…because flaws are okay.

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