He was everything to me.

I was planning to spend the rest of my life with him, growing old together and sipping sweet tea on the veranda, watching the sunset each and every night for the rest of our lives.

But he didn’t really know what love was. He didn’t love me.

When things got hard, he bolted over and over again. Especially when he was screwing it all up. Which he did often.

And when things got bad, he went silent and left it for me to fix it.

How was I supposed to fix it on my own? I needed a partner on the good days and even more on the bad days.

He gave up too soon, before we even had a chance to see forever. I was left standing on my own. I couldn’t fight for us by myself.

He said he loved me, but he never really loved me at all because he let me go.

After we ended, I would whisper to myself, “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”

It was my reminder to always release control and allow someone to be free to choose me. And I had to trust that if it was meant to be, he would come back to me.

But as I navigate my way through life in my romantic relationships, I’ve seen that letting go was a sure sign that he wasn’t choosing me at all. If he didn’t choose me when he had me, why the hell would I ever want him back later?

If he really loves you, he won’t let you go.

If he really loves you, he won’t ever let you f*cking go.

He will know when it’s love.

He knows when he loves her. He feels love through emotional, behavioral, and physical signs within. His attention and goals begin to shift.

When he falls in love, everything begins to be about her. He may not always say it, but he shows it in everything that he does or doesn’t do.

He becomes protective of her and plans a future with her, merging his life with hers. He also displays signs of his growing affection, commitment, and desire to connect with her.

I once knew a guy who moved across the country to be with the love of his life. Men aren’t clueless when it comes to love. When they feel it, they go for it. End of story.

If he is not moving goddamn mountains to be with you, it is not love.

When he knows it’s love, he won’t let her go.

He will stay when it’s tough.

He stays because he values her and believes in working through the challenges by prioritising communication, actively listening, and making the necessary effort to keep the relationship alive.

He is open to seeking support by a professional, not fighting it because he thinks he knows what’s best. Even if he never thought that he would be open to therapy, he would do anything to make this work. He does it because he wants to stay forever.

He addresses conflict constructively and works on his own personal growth and self-esteem, which often positively impacts the relationship as a whole.

He focuses on shared goals and a vision of the future to maintain a sense of purpose and direction in the relationship.

He understands the potential and ambition of the relationship and does not give up so easily when faced with challenges. He believes in perseverance and would never abandon the relationship at the first sign of trouble.

When it gets tough, he won’t let her go.

He will know when he is messing up a good thing.

And he will know how to never let it get there in the first place.

He notices changes in her behavior and communicates when she begins to show any distance, withdrawal, lack of interest or engagement in the relationship because he is in tune with her vibe. If her vibe is off, he won’t waste any time correcting it.

He’ll notice her decreased happiness, mood, and willingness to participate in activities together. He will be in touch with his own feelings such as guilt, regret, and sense of insecurity.

Building and maintaining a healthy relationship involves conscious effort and requires attention by both partners. He will proactively address potential issues before they escalate, which is vital to any successful relationship.

This involves active listening, expressing needs without placing blame, avoidance of attacking her character during disagreements, recognizing and managing emotional triggers, and using empathy and validation to understand her perspective and feelings even during an argument.

When he is messing up, he won’t let her go.

He will fix it before it’s too late.

In order to salvage any relationship, he will focus on communication, understanding, and show genuine effort by diving deep down to the core problems, not just saying things to keep the peace but addressing the root of the problems, past mistakes, and working to rebuild trust and connection.

He is also willing to change and adapt to the constant changes that occur throughout the life of the relationship. The ups and downs. The good times and bad. The financial roller coaster. The changes from only the two of them to now kids and a dog. And he shares in the new responsibilities that come with each turn of events as the relationship progresses, not leaving those responsibilities to just her but truly participating in a partnership with her because that is when she needs him the most.

Before it’s too late, he won’t let her go.

He won’t give up on the relationship.

His unwillingness to break their bond shows his commitment and dedication to their relationship and to her. He demonstrates determination and resilience for their life together by working through obstacles yet respecting her boundaries.

And he’d walk away if the feelings and efforts were not reciprocated because relationships need to be healthy and fulfilling for everyone.

If she is all in, he won’t let her go.

True love is holding on through the storm.

I wasted so much time and energy on the ones who didn’t stay. Sleepless nights wondering why he didn’t fight for us. Long winter nights crying myself to sleep over someone who never really cared about making a future with me.

But I know, one day, I’ll meet the one who stays forever because forever is what I deserve.

I deserve the love that holds on through the storm.

One day, I’ll meet the one who doesn’t let me go.

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