“It wasn’t perfect, but it felt so optimistic.”

​The 1990s. 

It’s hard to see clearly, through the mists of time, the warping effect of our age in any given decade, the veil of nostalgia…but yeah. There’s a lot I missed about the 1990s, that can be applied to today, to improve our lives.

And most of that wasn’t “do better, do more,” it was in the vein of “do less, do slower.” Things were less convenient. Privacy was absolute. Gender and gay norms were far worse, but too politics, for all its vitriol, was a fair sight better than today.

So, all in all, there’s a bunch of key things I miss that contributed to the adventure and magic of the 1990s. And there’s a few things I’m glad we’ve left behind.

Many quotes via this thread.

1. And 2: Boredom. And the ability to focus in deep dives. The two are related, I’m sure.

Whenever there was a gap, you just gapped. You waited in line. You waited for your friend to come back from the bathroom. You met your friends, and waited or they waited. You didn’t fill awkward gaps with the phone.

Because of that just sitting with the awkwardness, time lengthened. Summers were forever. Reading was a joy. Nature was a joy. And because you weren’t going through 40 tabs on your laptop or Tiktok videos or texts while walking or on the subway, you had the ability to focus. To read, to walk and just walk, listen and just listen, hang and just hang, and be spontaneous instead of scheduled-up. And one more in the department of boredom: not-knowing. “Basic stuff like renting games and movies. Drive in theatres. Arcades. Word of mouth information instead of online information where you don’t know who told you.”

“And you just didn’t know stuff half the time. “Who was that actor who played that side character in the movie we saw last night?” Don’t know. Can’t find out. Lived with not knowing.” “Discussions at the bar! This was so fun when I was in college and there were no smart phones to look things up immediately. It generated lots of thought provoking discussions and even more idiotic drunken bets. It was a blast and I cannot even fathom how kids today do something similar when everyone is so attached to their phones.”

“Time was expansive. Riding bikes to 7-11 and Blockbuster with a group of friends. Buying snacks and coming home to watch a movie. It was exciting. Nothing was on demand, you had to wait.

This for sure. Everything was an activity or an adventure. Renting a movie was a whole evening plan and half the fun! Maybe you pick up takeout on the way home…get back and put on your PJs, fight your sibling about whose movie you’re going to watch first, and everyone is actually paying attention because there were no phones.”

“This memory is forever ingrained in me: it’s mid-90s, a sunny day and my friends and I are split into the 2 cars we were able to finagle for that day’s shenanigans. No cell phones so we follow the lead car carefully so as not to lose them. I see my friend’s arm shoot out the window and she makes numbers with her fingers to let us know there’s a good song on that radio station.

It was so simple back then. We were always able to find each other and we never knew how our days might end up. It wasn’t perfect, but it felt so optimistic.”

3. No one shopped online, so people went out and met up and selected things and experts in hardware stores or video stores etc advised. It was…social in a way that wasn’t too social, but just natural. “Music was incredible. Malls were poppin’. Hope was high.” “The music was great, but it was the whole experience of going to a record store, browsing, talking about it with your friends, and deciding which album you were going to purchase. Then when you got home you’d open it up and look at the pictures and read the lyrics as you listened to the whole album for the first time. I miss that so much, downloading is not at all the same.

I can’t even say how much I miss going to Tower Records to see what was new. Putting on the headphones to listen to tracks, not in a hurry, just enjoying being there.”

4. Meeting up was…different. Mostly better. “Heck not even making plans, just venturing out and ending up just out there all day chillin with people.”

“Or just going outside as a child and knowing your friends would just be out there too. Or just randomly knocking on their door to see if they could come outside.” “Me and my gang just rode the bikes everywhere. small town, no mall, and of course too young to have drivers’ licenses to go to the nearest city. but we still smoked it to the filter. might sound weird, but it takes me back to the madonna song “this used to be my playground.”

“Random unexpected company stopping by and being happy and excited to see them.

Seriously, everything he talks about there was like 100% accurate for me and my family, growing up in the 80s and 90s vs how things are and how I feel about unexpected guests now.

We used to always get random friends and family stopping by and it was always a pleasant experience.

If someone knocks on my door or rings my doorbell today, I’m legitimately hiding and being as quiet as possible. No way in hell I’m answering the door because it’s for damn sure someone I don’t want to talk to or deal with.

Anyone I’m close enough with that I would want to see or interact with would sent a message, text, etc. first. Nothing good is gonna come from a random unsolicited door knock these days.”

5. Political partisanship was nasty…I remember Gingrich going after Clinton endlessly. But, too, morals were higher, so any kind of lying or sin was serious stuff. This was pre-Trump, when nothing bad or mean or rude or divisive matters anymore. We had a surplus. Things were cheap, cars were cheap, apartments were cheap, and the economy was humming. People felt like the world was slowly getting better. “…actual MTV and VH1 (and pop-up video!); hanging out at busy, bustling malls; a thriving middle class; pick-up trucks that were reasonably sized and not so insanely large; the 94-01 Acura Integra; a comparatively sane and calm news cycle and presidential administration.” “The world seemed more optimistic. We wanted to take care of the planet.”

6. No social media. “Living life for the moment and not having to have everything captured on your phone I have memories of concerts sporting events first loves mistakes made, and everything else that are locked away in my head and nowhere else and I’m perfectly happy with them there.” “Doing things for the genuine enjoyment and living in the moment vs. doing things with the mindset that it needs to look good on social media.” “I just walked out of a concert where everyone spent the entire time recording.” “No one can seem to just enjoy the moment anymore.”

Missing: “Non-online news. A thick, high quality newspaper to read with breakfast every day. Daily local news on television with high quality journalism about local stories.” Journalism culture was strong, lies were weak. And you read about things you didn’t care about already.

7. Meditation in daily life (more on the boredom/cell phone difference, really).
“The economy was booming and rent was low. You can get a decent apartment for $350/month in the suburbs and buy a used economy car for $2,000 – and it actually ran fine!

Original movies and shows kept things interesting and felt like cultural events. I remember when Jurassic Park came out, or the Sixth Sense, and the Lion King. And teen movies existed! If you were a kid, they made you feel a little more grown up because of the risque themes and characters who were played by adults.

Computers were becoming personal computers, and if you could afford one, you could browse so many fun and excited websites with games, bizarre graphics, and message boards/chatrooms.

Third spaces where you can gather and socialize without spending money. The mall was a big one, but also beaches, lakes, parks, and rec centers were happening spots. Nowdays it feels these places either don’t exist, or they’re restricted and roped off to people who have memberships or otherwise paid to be there.

No widespread cellphones or email usage, so there was no expectation for you to be working or available all the time. You actually had time to think, sit with your thoughts and be present, or be bored every once in a while.”

“In a way, we meditated in the 90’s without realizing it. Being with our thoughts actually helped with our mental health rather now we look to social media for validation and likes. Being bored, I think in a way is a skill and for us 90’s kids, really helped with critical thinking because we had time to our thoughts.”

In conclusion, two thoughts.

8. Everyone shopped local, most of the time. Barns & Noble or Borders or Wal Mart were the baddies, and Amazon, today, is bigger than all of them combined. Christmas at the mall, or downtown in old town, was a thing.

9. It was harder for whackos and racists, etc, to band together. The online world, social media, has made that all too easy, and fringe folks more powerful in a bad way. “I’m serious when I say this. In the 90s, you just felt like the world was OK. You may not have liked the government or politics, but you were OK. The economy wasn’t amazing, but it was OK. Everything really was OK. I felt safe. I felt optimistic about the future.. I don’t feel that way anymore.”

What else?

Two things I don’t miss:

1. “The smoking section, which was usually “separated” by a half wall or something minimally separating lol.”
“Seeing ash trays on tables or in the bank lobby.”

2. Sexual assault seemed kinda common; gay, people of color, and women’s rights were weaker. While we’ve taken steps backward on every social front, of late, our gay friends couldn’t marry, and sexual assault was often too comfortably kept in the shadows.

This is a good one—full of the trade off, good and bad. I like Apple Pay. It’s so easy. But not having things be easy means they’re slow. And slow has its own magic.

“Things meant more in a time before immediate satisfaction was possible. You had to wait for your shows to come on TV, you had to wait for the news, you had to wait to hear that album from your favourite band. You could only do banking during banking hours and your boss or bill collectors or telemarketers couldn’t contact you at all times of the day. You had to wait to hear what friends and family were doing so you actually had to inquire with people to learn about them instead of having that information plastered on the internet for you to passively observe. And all of these things happened separately and didn’t affect you all at once.

That sounds kinda horrible, but it made you appreciate things more. It gave you time mull things over. The anticipation of these things invited an element of imagination and thoughtful exploration.

The steady little stream of dopamine we get these days dulls your sense of wonder. Back then, you had to actively seek out those hits. And they were bigger and more impactful because of both their rarity and the fact that you kinda had to work for it.

Things were also disconnected back then. Back then, a sunny day was just a beautiful period of time that enveloped you. It was your day and it was open to any and all possibilities because it existed separate from the rest of the world. It was separate from the news, which only came on for an hour-ish every day. It was separate from politics and separate from conflict and separate from global opinions.

But now, a sunny day exists co-mingled with the constant stream of human existence that’s algorithmically curated to distract you as much as possible with whatever you find most provocative. Good and bad. Your sunny day exists intertwined with political billboards on the highway and activist slogans berating and shaming you and Twitter arguments and sensationalist media talking heads and advertisements while you pump your gas. Everyone is trying to cram their opinions and agenda down your throat and you can’t just enjoy a sunny day anymore without something fucking it up and derailing you

You can get a taste of this still by going outside and just breathing the air in, but you can’t feel disconnected for long before something pulls you back and you seek out that little hit of dopamine from the device in your pocket. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything to earn that anymore.

That little pull used to never be there. There was no tether. You were more closed off, yet more free somehow. You had space. You had silence. You could think.

God, it was good to be alive in the 90’s.”