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Over a glass of wine one evening, I told my friends how lovely it would be to bike along the coast to a little seaside village I’d never been to—just me, the sea breeze, and the freedom of an open path.

In my head, it was perfect.

The sun was warm but gentle. My dress was long, but somehow not in the way. My hair floated in the breeze as if in a movie-scene. It was a five-second summer fantasy.

Beautiful.

Harmless.

Untouchable.

And then my friend did the absolute worst thing imaginable.

She said, “That sounds amazing! I’ve done that route before and know the best places to stop. Want to go this weekend?”

Cue the panic.

Suddenly, my beautiful, breezy daydream was being invited into real life. And real life is complicated.

Because here’s the truth:
I haven’t ridden a bike in 20 years.
I’m not particularly athletic.
And I’m very sensitive to the sun.

With every protest I offered, my friend gently countered with kindness and solutions because, objectively, my reasons were small. But emotionally, they felt huge.

Because that dream wasn’t supposed to happen. It was supposed to float in my dreams…over there. It was safe because it lived in the clouds. It was safe because I wasn’t actually doing it. It was safe because I wasn’t yet the version of me who would do something like that.

Dreams are safe because they don’t ask anything of us.

Until we are confronted with them. And when that moment comes, we often back away. Not because we don’t want it, but because it asks us to step into something unfamiliar. Something bigger.

And that means confronting the question we don’t always know we’re asking: Who am I to do something like that?

Because once the dream gets real, you’re no longer dreaming. You’re growing. You’re visible. You’re in motion.

And the version of you that exists in that dream is new and unknown. Maybe it even feels a little unsafe.

But this version of you is not unsafe, just unfamiliar.

And your brain and nervous system love the familiar.

That’s why we often say no to the very things we long for; they require us to become something different, something more.

But you can say yes.

You can learn how to stretch toward joy without flinching.

Here’s how to begin:

1. Visualize with Intention
   
   Your brain runs worst-case scenarios not because you’re negative, but because it’s trying to keep you safe. So thank it, and then redirect it.Imagine things going well. Picture a stumble, and someone helping you up. Let your mind practice success, not just survival.
2. Remember Your Resilience
   
   You’ve done this before. You learned to tie your shoes. You learned to drive. You once struggled with things that now feel like second nature.Your resistance doesn’t mean it’s too hard. It means you’re at the edge of growth.
3. Visualize Again (But Differently This Time)Anchor in the beauty. Set the scene: the light, the sound, the laughter, the support, the satisfaction.Let your nervous system feel that this is safe, too.The more you practice joy, the more natural it becomes.

Your dream might never play out exactly like it did in your imagination.

But maybe that’s the point.

Because once you say yes to the invitation—once you get on the bike, so to speak—your real life begins.

And it just might be even better than the movie version.

~