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I knew to walk away from the ones who clearly had no interest in me, but the one who showed me loving moments, the one who flirted with me like he couldn’t get enough, and the one who held me so tight as if he was falling in love was the one I couldn’t walk away from.

I knew deep down he wasn’t the one. I felt it. But my heart kept telling me to relax and go with it.

We were friends and we kept telling each other so. But I knew I wanted more even though I kept telling myself I didn’t. I stayed and let our so-called friendship blossom at the slight chance there could be more.

I always thought love started with friendship, right?

Maybe I was wrong? Or maybe I was right? My head was spinning and I was losing control. I questioned our relationship every day.

And as much as I didn’t want to admit that I was in a situationship, the fact was I was invested in us and he wasn’t.

I kept telling myself it was better to have someone to spend time with versus being alone. Even if that person didn’t value me.

A situationship is typically a romantic or sexual relationship that lacks a clear definition and commitment. But even a friendship where there are lines being crossed can be considered a situationship. It’s a gray area where there’s emotional intimacy, regular communication, and sometimes exclusive behavior, but without a formal relationship status or shared understanding of the future.

We walked into this thing saying we were just friends. Yet we spent so much time together my feelings were compromised.

I knew something was brewing within me when I started sitting around waiting for him to text or call just to hear (or see) the words “I want to see you” from him.

I began to leave open availability in my schedule just so I could see him, which I did often, but on those days I didn’t hear from him, it felt like rejection, not just a friend who forgot to call.

He took up space in my heart and I couldn’t shake him.

As much as I’d like to think I’ve done so much work within myself that something like waiting around for a text or a call is beneath me, here I was again sitting around desperately waiting for my phone to chime.

He refused to commit yet gave me hope often.

We were intimate on several occasions, but the next day we were friends only again.

To an outsider, we might even have looked like a couple because our times together were so loving and caring. We touched. We danced. We hugged. We told each how much we missed each other every day. We said I love you all day, every day.

Yet no one in his life knew I even existed. We never left my house. We lived in a little bubble that I thought was so special. Until I realized he was hiding me from his world.

Situationships are characterized by a lack of clarity about relationship goals and expectations. We lacked any real substance.

I knew it would hurt to walk away. I’m not sure why; it’s not like he ever showed me any real love. But the disappointment of what could have been would hurt all the same.

So instead of investing myself into someone who wasn’t invested in me, I began to invest in myself.

I needed a few days to really think about what I was about to do. Was it ruining a good friendship or was I ending a situationship that wasn’t good for me? Because once I started this process, there was no turning back. I would have to live with this decision, so I took a step back to reevaluate the relationship.

After I decided I was ready to end it, I made the call to say the words. It took everything I had to find enough courage to do it, but once I said the words, I instantly knew that I had made the right decision because a rush of peace filled my heart.

But I knew I had a long road ahead of me to walk away from him.

Here are the 10 things I did to walk away from that situationship:

1. Go for a walk.

He called me at the same time every day. So the following day, at the time he normally would have called me, I silenced my phone and went for a walk.

I did this each and every day.

At first all the silence did was bring me back to him. Thoughts of his handsome face pulled at my heart. Conversations we previously had replayed in my head over and over again.

But the more I pushed myself to walk, the more the fresh air, the amazing sites, and the unique sounds of nature began to clear my thoughts of him. And eventually my heart began to heal.

2. Cook or bake something.

With a clear head and slowly healing heart, I began to create healthy dishes to feed my body. After my walk each day, I came home and hurried to the kitchen to begin my quest. I was on a journey to start investing in myself. And that journey began with a new healthy lifestyle.

3. Explore your creative side.

I kept myself busy on the weekends exploring my creative side. At first it felt uncomfortable since I didn’t even know I had a creative side to me, but with so many choices, I finally found something I enjoyed and was actually good at: writing.

For the woman who never had anything to say, writing was a way for me to find my voice.

This new craft kept me happy and fulfilled.

4. Take a Bubble bath.

On the weekends, when most singles were out enjoying a night with friends or dinner dates with a potential new lover, I made myself a bubble bath.

Not just a bubble bath but a therapeutic bubble bath, which included soft music, candles, and lots of bubbles. I did the full spa treatment giving myself a manicure and pedicure as well. I am a queen—I better start acting like it.

I was reclaiming my body that I had previously given away to someone who wasn’t worth it.

5. Read your favorite book.

There is nothing better than getting lost in a good book.

Through reading, I was able to let myself get lost in another world.

I read romance novels because I still believed in love. I was opening my heart to the possibilities.

I read history books because there was so much I still didn’t know.

I read how-to books so I could learn new skills that I’ve never done before. I learned how to build a bookshelf so I had a place to store all my new books.

The more I read, the less and less I thought about him.

6. Watch your favorite movie.

Movies helped me escape life just for a moment. I watch all the movies I never had time to watch before. I even caught up on some of my favorite series that I had forgotten I used to love.

It was a way to relax in my free time especially on the nights when I started to miss him.

7. Play Dress up.

When I was a child, one of my favorite things to do was to play dress up. Why not do it as an adult?

I put on a full fashion show starring myself with upbeat music in the background as I tried on every piece of clothing I owned.

It helped me organize my closet and get rid of the things that haven’t lived on this body in years.

It also helped me put a ton of pieces together that I normally wouldn’t have to create several new looks.

8. Clean your House.

Cleaning my house was a way to rid the old and welcome the new. Plus when you’re busy cleaning, there is no time to think about anything else.

The feeling of a new beginning washes over me with a clean house.

9. Workout.

With my new fashion sense, I needed a new body to play the part. I joined a gym and began working out before work in the morning.

It was also a great way to meet new friends and really feel good about myself.

10. Call family and friends and make time to see them.

While I was spending too much time with a guy who didn’t care about me, I ended up being too busy to see the people who actually loved and cared for me the most.

I reconnected with my favorite people and put the effort into seeing them often.

Over time, it was as if he never existed in my life. Time has a funny way of healing you when you’re busy living your best life.

He most likely didn’t lose any sleep over losing me. He was the guy who would move on to the next person to fill his emptiness.

But none of that mattered to me anymore. I was able to take back the pieces of myself that I had given to someone who would never love me.

As much as I might have wanted more from him at that time, I finally realized he was never actually good enough for me.

I don’t blame him. I don’t think he walked into this planning to hurt me. I was there too and I allowed him to think that what he was giving me was enough. But by allowing him to treat me as if I was only worth a situationship, I was telling the universe that this was all I deserved.

But I was worth so much more. So when I walked away, I was showing the universe that I was worth being someone’s endgame.

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