Let’s be real for a moment: we can’t be happy all the time.

Positive emotions are fleeting.

Life’s inevitable challenges often deter our happiness and leave us feeling unsatisfied.

When that absence of contentment occurs, we may enter a state of denial. That’s when our focus shifts to regaining emotional normalcy and stability.

Finding joy again is the right thing to do, but we’re missing an important step…

Occasional bouts of frustration or disappointment tend to drain us. They may be so intense that they increase our stress and anxiety levels.

When I’m disappointed, hurt, or angry, I feel the need to chase happiness. I feel it leaving my body and slowly dissipating into nothingness. That nothingness scares me. Without happiness, my life feels empty—pointless.

So I try hard to recreate positive emotions and experiences without noticing my current emotional state, which is rooted in suffering. That’s where I always go wrong…

The other day, as I was trying to regulate my nervous system and regain contentment, I paused for a moment and confronted an uncomfortable truth. With an open heart and mind, I said:

“I’m not happy right now.”

That beautifully raw confession brought me unexpected peace of mind. Instead of chasing an emotional state that was impossible to reach at that moment, I accepted my suffering as part of my journey toward happiness.

We may refuse to believe that unhappiness eventually leads to happiness. That’s why we tend to focus on positive experiences and ignore negative ones. But happiness isn’t linear. It consists of many ups and downs that we need to embrace.

Furthermore, when we say that we’re not okay right now, we know that our unpleasant state of mind is temporary. I’m not happy “right now,” but I will be feeling better today or tomorrow. We’re not arranging a specific date, but we’re slowly making space for our positive emotions to re-emerge.

The problem is not that we experience unhappiness; the problem is that we don’t admit we’re unhappy. We instantly reject distress when we feel it. We rush to make things right. We want to mask our pain or make it disappear. We give it ugly names and make it linger.

What if we admit it when we’re unhappy? What if we tell someone we’re not feeling great? What if we stop saying we’re fine when we’re not?

Acknowledging our ugly feelings may be the only way to feel better again. This act of vulnerability has the power to heal us and calm us down. It can humble us and teach us that life is a series of changes that are necessary for our personal growth.

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