When we think of relationship problems, we usually think of red flags…the big things.

The things that would normally terminate relationships or force partners to think twice about staying.

What we rarely talk about though are the yellow flags…the small things.

The things that wouldn’t normally terminate relationships because they’re kinda silly; they’re not even deal breakers. They might happen repeatedly, but we usually brush them off and think they’re a normal part of any relationship.

While it’s true that yellow flags are sometimes silly, they’re called yellow flags for a reason. In color theory, if we mix magenta and yellow, we get red. In other words, when we mix too many “silly” problems, the yellow flags eventually turn red, leading to the end of any good relationship.

That’s why we need to keep an eye on yellow flags and take them more seriously. Their absurdity doesn’t mean they won’t hurt us or the relationship. In fact, their absurdity should alarm us because you never know when or how they become stumbling blocks.

But that doesn’t mean we need to obsess over yellow flags or look hard to find them. The only thing we need to do once we spot them is to take the right action to solve them and reduce their impact on the relationship.

Here are two yellow flags you should take note of:

1. The inability to talk about their feelings.

The foundation of any healthy relationship starts with two people who are willing to be vulnerable. We must overcome the obstacles that come in the way of vulnerability before they wreck the connection we have with our partner. Bottling up emotions, giving short answers, and avoiding overwhelming topics can ruin any good relationship and let it become shallow. In short, having to constantly decipher our partner’s needs or feelings can bring forth a variety of issues. So to prevent communication breakdown and unnecessary heartache, we should watch out for this yellow flag and help our partner to open up.

2. The inability to improve themselves.

All relationships require constant self-improvement and lots and lots of open-mindedness. That’s the only way that love can survive—through personal growth. When we have a fixed mindset or are too attached to our old ways, we directly impair the relationship we’re in. Love can’t flourish in an environment where the people involved aren’t dedicated and committed to themselves. That yellow flag can turn red at any given point in time because our individuality in a relationship will always come first. If that’s damaged, then the relationship’s damaged too. So support your partner’s personal growth and help them to be their best self.

With attention and awareness, we can spot many (small) issues that could be red flags in disguise. Don’t be afraid to see your relationship objectively and truthfully. Denial will only worsen the situation and cause emotional instability.

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