First of all, nothing was real. Secondly, in this day and age, popping the self-serious balloon of social media with delightful yet seriously pranky April Fool’s is a tonic, whether folks agree or no.

The Buddhist take on April Fool’s, by my mom.

“I would like to love my life and help you to love yours.” ~ Things I would like to do with You.

Well, howwabout “Things I no longer want to do with you.”

{April Fool’s Edition}

Hi, I’m Waylon. I’m 50. Two years ago, after a broken engagement, my dear old dog Redford dying a painful death, Covid, my mom’s health getting shaky, and more…I was sad.

Then I ran for City Council and despite more endorsements than just about anyone else, lost.

Then I met Kelsey.

We fell in love, I proposed, we got married. We were supposed to move to the midwest, because of custody stuff around her dear boy.

But, lately, I’ve been feeling bored. I like the single life! Dating is fun! I think maybe I want to travel more, and don’t want to be weighed down. I want to be free! I miss being alone. I think married life isn’t for me. It’s hard, sometimes, like sometimes Kelsey doesn’t agree with me or is in a bad mood, and that sucks.

So…I’m tearing up our marriage certificate. Let’s do this, life! No one can hold me down.

I figured I should admit the truth to y’all, since I posted photos of us being happy and in love and stuff. The “likes” are mine! So is my heart, and it’ll be sweet to be all about me again.

I can’t go through with it. I need my home, my community, my hometown. I love you, Kelsey, but…